I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
