I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
