we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I could fuck to npr.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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