I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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