he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
