I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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