haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
