I think my vagina is haunted
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
