He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
