carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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