Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
