I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
