Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
