If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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