woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
