Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
this will be a night to untag.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
