He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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