What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
