I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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