I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
