Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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