Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
