I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
