Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
