Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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