the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
