I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
