i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
