I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
