foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
