He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
