Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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