wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize