mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
