This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
