I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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