it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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