Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
