you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
