drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
