Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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