eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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