Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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