therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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