South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
