every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
