Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
