im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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