mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
