Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
