its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
