dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
