And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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