is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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