just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
