I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
