My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
